613

panic/anxiety attack

vye-leviathan:

pushed-too-far:

chris-sid:

jaspinder:

  • breath in for 4 seconds
  • hold your breath for 7 seconds
  • exhale breath for 8 seconds

repeat once or twice more.

This causes an autonomic nervous system shift from a sympathetic (fight or flight reaction) state to a parasympathetic response.

Use this for panic/anxiety attacks, exams, presentations.

Never not reblog

Tumblr got anxiety advice. Fuck yeah.

Read this earlier, and it helped me a lot tonight.

slephoto:

samanthaaaaaaa:

likeclockworkcircles:

the-gypsy-writer:

fiftyshadesofsnark:

bonerack:

princessnecrophilia:


weeaboo-chan:


vhscars:


protest-resources:


50 Shades of Abuse Flyer - Canada
Use, redistribute, print. 
Click image and magnify for large version.


Okay. I understood all the flack Twilight got for being an abusive relationship. Because it was and it was being read by a very young and impressionable audience. But ffs, 50 Shades is an ADULT NOVEL. Iit is about a BDSM couple. Which - newsflash - do exist. It is a completely consensual form of dominate/submissive sex play. The whole concept of domestic violence and abuse is that one side exerts control over an unwilling victim. I don’t recall Anastasia, or whatever she’s called, protesting to Christian’s form of sex. If I remember correctly, she quite enjoyed it! So before you condemn a work of romanticized fiction, actually consider it’s audience and remember that they are mature and capable enough to know the difference between reality and fiction.


so i guess you didn’t read the parts where he coerces her and the part where he continues after she has used her safeword and acts like a fucking creep whenever they aren’t having sex
it is the worst possible introduction to BDSM i could imagine
i know my shit okay


im hoping the people defending this book are 1. never getting into BDSM 2. not currently into BDSM 3. havent read the book bc i dont want to believe anyone is that fucking stupid


Let me
just
fucking
drop
some fucking
knowledge on you right now.
Wanna know the BDSM mantra? Safe, sane, consensual.
So let me explain why this book was devoid of all three of these things.
Safe - In the first few chapters of the novel, Christian Grey tracks Ana’s cell phone to find her at a club. Takes her home when she’s drunk, changes her when she’s so intoxicated she doesn’t remember him doing so,and informs her he will be keeping tabs on her for her own benefit. This is not the behaviour of a respectable Dominant. This is the behaviour of a power hungry, abusive asshole who really can’t take no for an answer.
Sane - One of the most important parts of BDSM is aftercare. Scenes can be extremely traumatizing and intense for the submissive. Aftercare is anything from petting to cuddling to holding to sweet talking, whatever degree of gentleness a bottom would need to pull them out of “subspace”. How does Christian provide aftercare? He submits Ana to a traumatizing first time spanking experience AND THEN FUCKING LEAVES. AND GETS MAD THAT SHE DIDN’T TELL HIM SHE WAS UPSET. He’s the one who should fucking know better! That, again, is not the act of a responsible Dominant. It’s the act of a selfish abuser.
Consensual - Did I mention he undressed her when she was belligerently drunk? Tracked her phone to locate her? He also buys her a new car despite her saying no countless times. Now, consent is important for any kind of sexual activity at all. Consent means informed, consent means enthusiastic. Informed, enthusiastic consent. This is crucial in a BDSM setting. Scenes can be extremely intense, especially for the bottom. What is Christian’s form of obtaining consent? Handing Ana a fucking contract highlighting all the things he wants to do her asshole and asking her to sign it. She was a virgin (Don’t even get me fucking started.) who had never before been exposed to BDSM. Entering in that kind of relationship takes a gargantuan amount of trust and knowledge so you know exactly what you’re getting into. Not reading a list of kinks on a piece of paper and signing your rights to say no away. Christian didn’t offer her resources, he didn’t offer her information. He gave her an ultimatum. That is not the sort of consent a responsible Dom/me would seek from their submissive.
Fuck. This. book. It’s written in a shitty way, it’s a terrible example of a BDSM relationship (ask anybody already involved in the lifestyle and watch them go blue in the face just thinking about it), which is already faced with enough prejudice and misunderstanding, and it romanticizes and glorifies abuse.

Reblogging because relevant

And I believe as far as the contract went, he told her she couldn’t discuss it with her best friend & if she had any questions to Google them. Because Google is 100% accurate.

Firstly, SSC IS NOT THE ONLY MANTRA IN BDSM. Can we /PLEASE/ stop forgetting that RACK exists as well and is just as valid?
Secondly, BDSM IS NOT AN EXCUSE FOR ABUSE.
Period.
Ever.
What is considered an abusive relationship and what are considered abusive behaviors in Vanilla (non BDSM) terms, standards, and relationships IS STILL CONSIDERED AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP IN D/S TERMS, and both can be just as damaging.
LINK DUMP TIME BITCHES.
Warning Signs of a Predator Dom/me Part 1
Warning Signs of a Predator Dom/me Part 2
When Does Punishment Go Too Far?
Thinking More Clearly About BDSM and Abuse
The Abuse Debate: A matter of Acceptance, Not Consent
A Field Guide to the Creepy Dom
10 Red Flags of A Bad or Abusive Dominant
The Bad kind of Pain
Can I Be Abused in a BDSM Relationship
Assault Is Not OK
Trigger Warnings for abuse, assault, rape, etc.
Now. Let’s get on to the bullshit:

"But ffs, 50 Shades is an ADULT NOVEL. It is about a BDSM couple. Which - newsflash - do exist. It is a completely consensual form of dominate/submissive sex play. The whole concept of domestic violence and abuse is that one side exerts control over an unwilling victim. I don’t recall Anastasia, or whatever she’s called, protesting to Christian’s form of sex. If I remember correctly, she quite enjoyed it! So before you condemn a work of romanticized fiction, actually consider it’s audience and remember that they are mature and capable enough to know the difference between reality and fiction."

1. It being an adult erotica novel makes absolutely NO fucking difference. In fact, as an adult, the author should have known better and should have known to do her fucking research- which she did not.
In fact, there’s a FAR better example of Fictional Adult BDSM literature out there called Sunstone. Here’s the funny part though: Both SS and FFoG were both written by people uninvolved in and heavily removed from the BDSM community (which we call “Vanillas”). Except the author of Sunstone managed to do enough research to get it RIGHT and produce an amazing, well thought out, subculture accurate graphic novel…. And the author of FSoG managed to produce a steaming, inaccurate, completely abusive pile of shit.
Even better? The author of of SS even manages to accurately talk about and illustrate important topics in BDSM relationships like abuse, subdrop, and similar problems, WITHOUT CONDONING THEM, AND WHILE POINTING OUT HOW HARMFUL THEY CAN BE. FSoG on the other hand DOES NOT DO THIS AND INSTEAD ENCOURAGES AND ROMANTICIZES THEM.
So don’t give me that “oh it’s an adult fictional BDSM erotic novel!!!” tripe when there are actually perfect examples of how to do “Adult Fictional BDSM Erotica” CORRECTLY AND IN A MANNER THAT DOES NOT ROMANTICIZE OR EXCUSE ABUSIVE BEHAVIORS AND RELATIONSHIPS.
2. “The whole concept of domestic violence and abuse is that one side exerts control over an unwilling victim”. 
That is an inaccurate representation of Domestic violence and abuse. Abuse may also sometimes involve manipulation, coercion, refusing resources, controlling behaviors, random and unpredictable (sometimes violent) mood swings, etc.
Physical abuse IS NOT THE ONLY FORM OF ABUSE THAT ONE MAY EXPERIENCE OR ENCOUNTER. Psychological Abuse, Emotional Abuse, and Verbal Abuse ALSO EXIST AND ARE JUST AS DAMAGING. 
Furthermore? Not all victims are aware, at the time, that they are being abused- I wasn’t in the first 3 abusive relationships I found myself in until I learned how to recognize the signs.
3. “So before you condemn a work of romanticized fiction”
THAT IS LITERALLY THE FUCKING PROBLEM. THIS IS FICTIONAL ABUSE. IT IS ROMANTICIZED FICTIONAL ABUSE THAT ANYONE EVEN REMOTELY INVOLVED IN THE BDSM COMMUNITY KNOWS IS FUCKING ABUSE.
4. “actually consider it’s audience and remember that they are mature and capable enough to know the difference between reality and fiction.”
To those who are uneducated about BDSM IT IS DANGEROUS MATERIAL BECAUSE IT NOT ONLY ROMANTICIZES THIS ABUSE AND PASSES IT OFF AS ACCEPTABLE “BECAUSE IT’S BDSM”, IT ALSO REINFORCES PRE-EXISTING NEGATIVE STEREOTYPES ABOUT THE FUCKING COMMUNITY AND LIFESTYLE.
Someone being a fucking ADULT doesn’t make a goddamned lick of difference when they are uneducated about a subject and a book romanticizes it into being the norm and/or acceptable.

For all my baes who need to get their facts straight. Thank you for the knowledge, friends.

Great break down post, but it TOTALLY overlooks one of the most horrifying parts of the books… the glorification of adults sexually abusing teens by pulling them in to BDSM relationships they don’t have the maturity or experience to consent to.
Call it “adult” all you like, encouraging sexual exploitation is NEVER ok.


Coming from a female who hasn’t read the book but knows BDSM. I’m totally okay with a man roleplaying being hella dominant. Slap me in the face while you fuck me. Choke me. Be violent. If it turns both parties on, why the fuck not. There’s a MASSASSSIVE difference between BDSM/violent roleplaying, than someone fucking you without consent. Because OBVIOUSLY you would prefer to fuck someone like that, if you BOTH wanted to FUCK. You are BOTH COMFORTABLE, and you BOTH TRUST each other enough to ACT out these things. MORAL: NO FUCKING SHIT YOU WOULDNT JUST TIE SOMEONE UP AND FUCK THE SHIT OUT OF THEM, UNLESS YOU BOTH AGREE TO IT.
wildlifeexperience:

Visit us to experience the wildlife: Wildlife Experience
263

kylesbogusjourney:

activatewindows:

kylesbogusjourney:

WHAT IF MY COLORS ARE DIFFERENT THAN YOUR COLORS

They are, because people having varying numbers of Rods and cones in their eyes, it causes people to see colours differently.

Also there is a theory that everyone sees, for example, the colour red differently eg Red=yellow, but because we’ve been taught that, that specific colour is red, no one knows if everyone is seeing the same colour as another person.

image

923